Death to Kaibakun!
by Lucifers-Helper
Summary: A crudely humored story that insults Kaiba. You'd think after two months of threatening e-mails I'd stop insulting Kaiba, but NOPE! I'm meaner than EVER!


**Death To Kaiba-kun!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Okay? I'm not making any money from this so don't sue me Kazuki Takahashi's lawyer! J

Warning: If you love Kaiba, LEAVE! DO NOT READ! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU! You'd think I'd learn a lesson from getting somewhat angry e-mails from Kaiba fans nation-wide, but NOPE!   I'm the devil's advocate, I MUST fan flames! J  Oh shoot! My user look-up shows my e-mail!

~Yami Yugi~

Hello! Welcome to "Dis the Crap out of Kaiba-kun!"

~Kaiba fans~

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Yami Yugi~

We gotta take out our anger on someone!  Kaiba is SO easy to insult!

~Kaiba Cult~

Shut the *bleep bleepity bleep bleep* up!

~Yami Yugi~

Would you like to start, Joey?

~Joey~

You're hair is a box-cone thingy!

~Kaiba~

Yo8rs is flat!

~Yami Yugi~

Peggy?

~Pegasus~

Grrr… You're a pathetic duelist!

~Kaiba~

You cheat!

~Yami Yugi~

Scoot Peggy!  Kaiba! You needed me to save your butt a couple times and you till hate me! Is it cuz I'm SO superior you can't stand it?

~Kaiba's unofficial girlfriend~

You're such a *BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPITY BLEEP* Yami Yugi!

~Yami Yugi~

To the shadow realm you go!  Kaiba! Without me you wouldn't have your deck, your soul, your brother, and your mind!

~Kaiba~

Without me you wouldn't have your grandpa!

~Yami Yugi~

What do you know about family? You shoved your daddy out of a skyscraper!

~Kaiba~

Step dad!  He did child abuse!  He made me wear a doggy collar and put a knife to my neck to get me to do homework!

~Yami Yugi~

Some of us like to wear doggy collars and DO OUR HOME WORK IN THE MIDST OF DUELING!  You're only fifteen.

~Kaiba~

You don't have a company to run!

~Yami Yugi~

I can run the Kame Game Shop!

~Kaiba~

Tch.  If you're taller than the counter…

~Yami Yugi~

Evil Egyptian god seahorse!  Or do you prefer Childish Seahorse?

~Kaiba~

You BASTARD!

~Yami Yugi~

J My momma married… I think… did the Egyptians have holy matrimony?

~Everyone~

Shouldn't YOU know?

~Yami Yugi~

Amnesia peoples!  Would you pick Duat (sometimes called Tuat) or a gold puzzle to spend your afterlife?

~Marik~

Duat is heaven dumb butt!

~Yami Yugi~

I don't want to run through a maze getting chased by monsters, face the heart-feather test, and yet another maze, and if I'm still not done screaming bloody murder I can still die again!

~Marik~

Finish your Dis!  I need Obelisk the Tormentor from him!

~Yami Yugi~!

I whooped your butt in Egypt and I'll do it again!

~Kaiba~

Oh yeah?

~Yami Yugi~

Yeah!  The hotter man wins!

~Kaiba~  
what the hell?

~Yami Yugi~

You're the one who used to have GREEN hair!  Green as grass!

~Kaiba~

At least my hair doesn't look like a prehistoric plant!

~Everyone~

OOooooooooooOOOOooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Yami Yugi~

At least my voice actor doesn't do a bunch of *g*a*y* guys! 

~Kaiba~

That's too far!  Your aibou does a ton of *g*a*y* guys!

~Yami Yugi~

Least not PERVERTS!

~Kaiba~  
YOU BASTARD!

*Yami Yugi bounces around cussing in Egyptian and Marik translates*

~Kaiba~

You *BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPITY BLEEEP* BASTARD!

~Kaiba cult~

You *BLEEEP BLEEP BLEEP* YAMI YUGI!

~Kaiba's unofficial girlfriend (back from the shadow realm) ~

You * BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP* YAMI YUGI!

~Kaiba fans~

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Yami Yugi continues Egyptian cussing and Marik translates to spread the flames and stops when Yami says something along the lines of "The salmon not being able to swim upstream"*

~Marik~

What the bloody hell is going on in your mind?

~Yami Yugi~  
Plenty!  I'm not supposed to act this dishonorably on a normal basis so I let it all out when I need to!

~Marik~

Why are you dissing Kaiba with infertility? 

~Yami Yugi~

Sorry!  On the scale that a 10-year-old kid can be pharaoh and have a queen how long could it take for the sparks to fly?

~Marik~  
You're SICK!

~Yami Yugi~

And YOU'RE NOT?

End of the Beginning

(Kill me Kaiba fans!)

Footnotes:

Dan Green- Yami Yugi

Ted Lewis- Little Yugi, Bakura, James, Tracey, Giovanni, and maybe Yami Bakura

Eric Stuart- Kaiba Seto, Brock, James, King Dedede, extra on Fighting Foodons, Pegasus, Bandit Keith, co-singer for "Heart of the Cards"


End file.
